Study tip 2: Find an

Study tip 2: Find an uncomfortable spot and PLANT IT.

Homework overload study tips #1 MAKE A LIST

I think those of us sick of twilight need a support group (: Nothing against the books but the fans cuzz they'll eat me (: i read the books myself.

Sick of Vampires.

Wow, has anyone ever gone to the bookstore lately? I went just yesterday..... Wow. What has happened to the world? After grabbing a table and buying myself a cup of some weird peach juice, i went upstairs to the "Teen Section" which, i have noticed, is tailored to the needs of preteens, bored horny teens, or moms that are trying to be hip. When i graduated to this section some years back, i learned to look around the worst of it with a few basic techniques.

1.) Look away from books with super long titles [although you may miss out on some good ones this way] You know the ones with titles like

"OMG guess what happened this summer my boyfriend hates me and this girl totally fell down while running on the beach while i was supposed to be babysitting cause my family doesn't love me!"

:) Avoid the ones with texting lingo [i.e. LOL, OMG, WTF, ROTFLMAO... but especially OMG, these usually have some crazy scandals that no teen should be reading.

2.) Avoid books based off of TV series or movies, but ones with movies based of of them are usually OK. [You know the ones I'm talking about, and you know what you see on TV nowadays.

3.) Books with short titles are alright.

4.) Read not only the back of the book, but the inside cover flap, and the summary on the publishers page. You cant go wrong.

ta-DA!

But not only are the books only about sex, drugs, scandals, messed up families, etc. But now, they have to pull vampires into it. Yes, and you know the ones I am talking about. The vampire romances, people turning into vampires, how to kiss a vampire, love a vampire, be a vampire, kill a vampire, sleep with a vampire, miss a vampire, hope the vampire doesn't eat you, etc...

And while I was in awe over how many red titles there were, because anything vampire is bloody or dark, and red, [Yes it is a very pretty color, but it was all red on black, with no space in between.] a girl, a random girl, came up and bit me. "WTF Do you think you are F'n DOING!" I yelled. she looked at me, holding the slip cover of some how-to book on yes, being a vampire, shrugged, then ran around the store, down the stairs and out the door. I looked at the bite, which didn't break the skin, went into the store bathroom, washed it, looked up, and there was an Edward poster glaring down at me.

Wow. So I gave up on the teen section, and went to the literature section. Turns out, that those books are the exact same thing! I grabbed a classic and left.

Sending a text message to 3 of my friends, "I HATE VAMPIRES, THEIR BOOKS, THEIR MOVIES, AND THE PEOPLE WHO WANT TO BE THEM.!" i decide that maybe the writing, and the mythology itself isn't to blame. But for you fanatics out there:

YOU ARE NOT A VAMPIRE.